I'm lost and stupid without you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
