Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
