He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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