I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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