I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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