I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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