i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think people are normalizing furries
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
