so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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