It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
