If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just invented taco cereal.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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