she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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