She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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