i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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