did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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