And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
