Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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