He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
