pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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