I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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