I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
try to milk me bitch
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
