Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
