Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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