Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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