i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
