Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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