My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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