only if we run a train.
done.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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