her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
