i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
