You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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