Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
