We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
