If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Randomize
