dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
