I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
