I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
