if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
