We need to rekindle our bromance
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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