I wanna bring you to show and tell
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am naked and annoyed.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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