my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well you can't waste a boner
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ttyl tear gas
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
