wrigley field is MILF paradise
oh god the rape fog is back!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
