All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
