did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sobbing to NWA
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
