Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
do herpes really smell.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
