There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
