shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
