She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
