Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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