She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
