I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
