erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
