That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
