Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
