I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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